Profiling Great Sexuality Educators: Kira Manser

Profiling Great Sexuality Educators includes interviews that originally appeared on the website of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and is adapted and reprinted with permission.

Interview with Kira Manser

1.  What do you do in the field of sexuality?

I am a sexuality educator, student, and community organizer.

2.  Where are you based out of?

I am based out of Philadelphia, PA and Providence, RI. I have one foot and half my heart in both cities 

3.  What is your focus?  What do you do?

I have a few focuses, in a field as rich and complicated as sexuality it’s hard not to throw your weight behind a few movements and populations.   Professionally I have founded and run a sex education collaborative in Philadelphia.  We teach sex positive classes, hold community events that support sex-positivity, and do community organizing for gender and sexual minorities.  Besides the collaborative, my biggest interest right now is sexuality education/clinical training within medical schools curricula.  Also I am diversifying my skill set this year by getting clinical experience as a sex therapist.  I am about to start a year long internship working as a individual counselor at theMazzoni Center in Philadelphia which is one of the most active and comprehensive LGBT community health organizations in the country.  In all of the different areas of work that I do, I like to focus on spreading the message that sex has an unbelievable potential to be a positive force in people’s lives.  I try to get people to invest in the sexual life and find what makes them happy.

4.  What are your particular goals and passions in the field?

My goal is to develop a toolbag of skills- as a therapist, educator, presenter, organizer, and advocate.  And then use those skills throughout my life in many different venues to spread the belief that sex is something that can be incredibly healthy and positive.  Following that logic I want to put out my support for the belief that people should be allowed to express their sexuality as long as it is consensual.

5.  Why did you choose to work in this field? 

I think that this field chose me.  I’ve always been very comfortable and intrigued by sexuality as a topic, and I think I just naturally followed that path.  Working for Miko, a feminist sex shop in Providence for 3 years, really helped me to solidify my passion for working with people around sexuality issues.

6.  Where did you go for school/training?

I went to Brown University for Gender Studies and am currently in my third year in a social work and education in human sexual program at Widener University.  I was also trained at Miko and have learned SO much in the trail by fire method I have adopted with the work I do.

9.  What would you recommend to future sexologists attempting to get into the field?

Sexuality is such a complicated field.  Understand that you’re going to be a lifelong learner.  There will always be more to know, more complexity to wrap your head around.  If you want to be in the field I think you have to be ok with not always having an answer or having things be black or white.  There are so many ways to get into the field- working as a social worker, a teacher, a activist, a retail person in a sex shop even!

10.  What is the most challenging aspect for you working in this career?

Having to say no to so many amazing projects, ideas, or opportunities because there’s just not enough time to do it all!  I want to know and learn about sooo many things!

11.  One must read-what would you recommend?  Why?

bell hooks – Teaching to Transgress

To talk, let alone teach, about sexuality is a transgressive act in our society.  bell hooks really addresses how teaching is a powerful tool in the fight to freedom.  She addresses issues of class, race, and power in a thoughtful and productive way.  This is a must read for anybody doing education!

__________________________________________________________________Profiling Great Sexuality Educators includes interviews that originally appeared on the website of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and is adapted and reprinted with permission.

Profiling Great Sexuality Educators: Dr. Melanie Davis

Profiling Great Sexuality Educators includes interviews that originally appeared on the website of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and is adapted and reprinted with permission.

Interview with Dr. Melanie Davis

www.HonestExchange.com

1. What do you do in the field of sexuality?
Like a lot of sexuality educators, I have multiple jobs that combine to create an interesting career.  My work falls into five areas: teaching, curriculum development, consulting, writing, and advocacy.

I teach Human Sexuality and Marriage & the Family courses at Moravian College and have also taught at Marymount Manhattan College and Widener University. I work with medical students through the AMSA Sexual Health Scholars Program and Robert Wood Johnson Medical School.  I provide professional development for healthcare professionals and educators through my firm Honest Exchange LLC.

For the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), I am the point person for the Our Whole Lives (OWL) sexuality education curricula.

I consult with teens and adults through the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness, in which I partner with an OB/GYN and a sex therapist. I love meeting with people one-on-one to find practical solutions that will help them enjoy their sexual lives.

I blog, tweet, and review sexology books and curricula. I also write articles for sexology journals and mass media. That’s a holdover from my days in journalism and marketing, I suspect.

I advocate for the sexual rights of adults in mid- and older age as co-president of the Sexuality and Aging Consortium at Widener University.

2. Where are you based?  
Honest Exchange and the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness are in Somerville and Bedminster, New Jersey, respectively; I teach in Pennsylvania; and I telecommute to Boston for the UUA.

3. What are your particular goals and passions in the field?
I hope to help improve communication between healthcare providers and patients regarding sexuality. I also enjoy helping people who have cancer and other chronic illnesses, as well as those who are aging, to enjoy greater self esteem and intimacy despite the challenges they face.  In the classroom, I help students explore their attitudes and beliefs about sexuality while they increase their sexual knowledge.

4. Why did you choose to work in this field? 
I was a journalist and marketing consultant for 25 years, and while it was enjoyable, there was little direct connection with people. In 1999, I was asked to co-facilitate an OWL class for church and discovered that it addressed my desire to do more meaningful work. Things steam rolled from there. As a professional sexuality educator, I get to help people build knowledge, improve communication, create healthier relationships, and enjoy their sexuality. I also have the chance to work daily on breaking down limiting beliefs and attitudes – mine as well as those of my students and clients.

5. Where did you go for school/training?  
My first training was from Planned Parenthood, when I was a volunteer sex educator and exam room assistant; then I became a certified OWL facilitator. I took countless workshops from ANSWER and the Center for Family Life Education before entering the Widener University Graduate Program in Human Sexuality.  I take a lot of continuing education classes because there’s always something new to learn or a new way to explore an issue.

6. Do you have any literature out (websites, articles)?
I blog and have posted some of my articles on www.HonestExchange.com and on the Consortium’s site, www.widener.edu/sexualityandaging . I tweet links to and comments on sexology news at @DrMelanieDavis.

My sex advice column for Fantasia Home Parties can be found here:http://www.fantasiahomeparties.com/sex_expert.php

One of my favorite publications was on Sexuality Education as a Ministry, for the American Journal of Sexuality Education, Volume 6, Issue 1, 2011.

7. What would you recommend to future sexologists attempting to get into the field?
I suggest that people to think strategically about both their academic programs and their careers. Some opportunities that are exciting when you’re new to the field may come back to haunt you when you’re looking for a fulltime position with a non-profit organization, a corporation, or a university. That’s not to discourage people from exploring their options but rather to encourage them to think twice before blogging, tweeting, or posting everything they do, think, or feel.

8. What is the most challenging aspect for you working in this career?
Finding lucrative jobs can be difficult. Most people who aren’t fulltime academics, therapists, or retailers cobble together careers out of multiple consulting, teaching and speaking gigs. The bigger challenge, however, is to stay positive amid the constant political and religious attacks against healthy and equitable sexuality.

9. One must read-what would you recommend?  Why?
Peter Palmer’s book “The Courage to Teach” addresses the emotional vulnerability of teachers and the importance of teaching from the heart, no matter how heartless our evaluations, our paychecks, the demands on our time, the political pressures, etc. It wasn’t written for sexuality educators, but it’s pertinent for us.

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Profiling Great Sexuality Educators includes interviews that originally appeared on the website of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and is adapted and reprinted with permission.

Why I Teach Sex Ed: For "Christopher"

Why I Teach Sex Ed: For "Christopher"

by Lindsay Fram, MPH

Senior Family Life & Sexuality Education Instructor
Carrera Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Program

Bronx, NY

Twelve years ago I stood monitoring a line of 23 kindergartners on their first day of school. They waited patiently to use the bathroom, two at a time. Two girls. Two boys. When two came out, the next two went in. We waited. We sang songs. I was their first “real” teacher. I asked them about their families, their pets, their favorite foods.

Christopher was the first to ask me a question, “How old are you, Ms. Fram?” I laughed and told him to guess. And he did – correctly. He said that his mom was 21 and she looked just like me so, you know, he could just tell. Counting back on my fingers in disbelief, twice just to be sure, Christopher's mom had been 16 when she gave birth to him and his twin sister. Just 14 when she had his older brother. I scanned the line of five-year-olds waiting in size order to use the bathroom and wondered how many more of them had teen parents.

I found out during the course of that first year as a teacher that most of the mothers had been in their teens or early twenties when they became parents and that many were children of teen parents themselves. When I called home in the evenings to remind parents about upcoming field trips, check in about an absence or talk about their child’s behavior parents kept me on the phone. The talked about wanting to break the cycle, about regretting not being able to provide for their kids the kind of life they had always dreamed of, about what they would have done if they knew then what they know now.

That group of 23 five-year-olds will be graduating from high school this year. Those who make it to graduation, anyway. Statistically speaking, not many of them will. Statistically speaking, many of them have already become parents, spent time in jail, and will spend years working for an indecent wage. I can’t go back and change their lives or the lives of their parents. But, every day I work to provide the tools, information, and motivation for so many others to shape a more positive future.

I teach sex ed for them. For my first group of students and for their parents.  I teach sex ed because every infant deserves to be born into a family who is ready for him, a family that planned for her arrival. I teach sex ed because every adolescent deserves to know how beautiful her body is, about the fabulous ways his body will change. I teach sex ed because every teen deserves to be able to speak confidently about his sexual boundaries, tell her partners what she does and does not want. I teach sex ed because everyone, when he is ready, when she wants it, deserves satisfying and safe sexual relationships. I teach sex ed so that my students can break the cycle, give their children the lives they always dreamed of (or not have children of their own at all), and I teach sex ed so that my students know now.